the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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