The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
