I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Where are you guys?
Drunk
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
