Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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