Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize