a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
