are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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