I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
