She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
