I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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