it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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