She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
