Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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