Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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