You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
