My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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