Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
