Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
