My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
