She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
