woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize