can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
