would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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