new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
