I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
