There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
