you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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