Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
