the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
