This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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