What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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