Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
