I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize