Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
