how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
accomplished twins. life is a go
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize