Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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