my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
well you can't waste a boner
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
