i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
