We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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