Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
