Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
