I am midnight drunk by noon
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
