do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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