Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
