We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
