we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
