So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
