I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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