so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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