What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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