Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize