the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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