Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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