Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
time to smoke my breakfast
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
