is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
