He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
