this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
