he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
