that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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