so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize