Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
