i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
