I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
