Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
